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| Missing - possible reward offered for recovery . This is John Baty who has not been seen for several years on the fells. Responsible for murdering several fell races before his disappearance in suspicious circumstances . He may have changed appearance since this photo and may have put on weight due to parkrunning . Not tagged or chipped but is registered with NSP. May be dangerous if approached from behind during a race .If found please return to the Poly fell section . |
This was the 'missing notice' posted by the fell section over the last 2 years at various venues that John had been known to frequent including at sports events (such as fell races and Cheltenham ) and comedy clubs ( such as St James' Park ) .
For our new members Baty remained nothing more than a legend as one of the famous fell knights at the Poly fell section round table .Unlike most legends the truth with John was even more bizarre .
There had been no confirmed sightings of this Sir Galahad of the fells ....until,that is this July , at the region's only International fell race organised by the incident prone , Saltwell Harriers
Saltwell had pulled off the region's most unlikely marketing coup by convincing a party of Australian tourists that the Saltwell fell race was the third greatest local tourist attraction after Hadrian's Wall and the Blairs' unused constituency home at Trimdon . The Australians sudden arrival prompted Saltwell to hastily rename their event as the 'first International Saltwell Fell Race' . It was also a celebration of Saltwell's undoubted illustrious and strong historical connections with the penal colony. The Poly's connections with Australia are more limited with the doubtless exception of Neil Dick - who behaves and dresses pretty much as you'd expect an Australian to do and acts like Crocodile Dundee on the streets of Monkseaton . Sadly, his birth certificate lets him down as he's apparently more Cockney than Aussie.
Baty's arrival was timely. He was so dated that the last time he ran a tin of snuff was considered essential kit while it was also good form to lob boulders downhill at your rivals to impede their progress.. He also now saw that the fell section had progressed to the 1980s by admitting females. It's probably stretching things a bit to say they had been admitted - it's more accurate to say that they rolled up unannounced , uninvited , totally ignorant of any protocol and just assumed with a disarming smile and a flick of their locks that was the qualification criteria . As an equal opportunity organisation, the fell section committee hadn't actually ever banned them. However it just considered they'd be uninterested in our fell events as unlike any of the 10 k road races , access to shopping facilities en route at any fell race was rather limited .
Hot on the heels of the Chevy , we were able to muster a good retinue of runners for the race - in fact the best total ever for this (third in numbers behind NFR and the hosts ! ) with 8 . Traditionally we were lucky to scrape together 2 or 3 for this race (regulars Chris Rowe and Barry Young). So a fine turnout from the reds.
As usual Saltwell managed the event with a small number of efficient marshals. No more than a brief but lucid explanation of the route was necessary from Keith Wood and was based on his assumption that fellrunners were a good deal brighter than roadrunners (which is of course scientifically proven) . During the course of his resume, the word 'water ' was mentioned no fewer than 4 times ( water actually occupied most of Keith's speech) leaving some to conclude they should have packed some flotation devices with the kit. That lucky dip section involved ditching in the Stanhope Burn and 'punching' your race number all of which was to be 'supervised' by some of the more gleeful Saltwellians .
From the start, it's a sharp ascent to the mast summit and it's still not clear which is the best way . An early joint lead was taken by Andy Blackett (DFR) and Ben Rowley (Tynedale) who then vied for the laurels from start to finish. The field split up into a few streams as runners tried to figure out the best lines. After running across the brow there's a fast 2 k descent to the river . The usually silky smooth Jon Stephens of Low Fell was having a torrid time submerged for what seemed like minutes as he battled with the system of orienteering punching. That could of course have been a Low Fell ploy to allow the other team members to put in some distance on the hounds - but surely Jon would never stoop to that . Once on his way Jon led our particular section through the valley for the final 800 m of sharp climb to the summit finish.
Andy Blackett finally got clear to the line over the last 30 metres on the sharp hill climb to the flag. John was able to witness some of the goings on at the front end from his placing as our first runner back and first V50 - beating the ever gracious Joe Blackett (unrelated to Andy) of Dark Peak for that spot . Unusually he surrendered a few places on the final ascent . He couldn't catch Elswick's Lee Bennett who was supreme vet for the night. Fast improved Chris Rowe is now one of the front running V40s at these events these days and ran a fine place . Our xc specialist Chris Waite finds this type of terrain a little more challenging but was good enough to close as our final counter here. The hosts took the overall team prize.
Saltwell are most generous (if boisterous ) hosts . Every Saltwell event involves large amounts of alcohol at some point during proceedings -and sometimes at several stages. Saltwell remain oblivious (probably due to either intoxication or a lack of a subscription to the Guardian) to all that new government research stuff on 'lifestyle changes' that says that alcohol and bacon sandwiches adversely affect athletic performance. Last year's venue post race at the Moorcock pub up on the moor had now been abandoned as the roof had caved in - not clear if that was related to last year's post race celebrations or some other act of God . So this year we all decamped to a pub at Castleside.
Keith Wood was in fine fettle as the mc - dispensing alcohol extensively among the runners - and so making the Australians feel quite at home. This was also the north east master's fell championship event -so the awards continued apace. Of our team everyone walked off with alcohol stuffed down their jackets , pockets and other places and/or awards - all that is except is for poor old Chris Oliphant who had even run the Chevy days before as a warm up race for the International .He got nothing but was extremely happy to witness all the booty that the rest of us took away.
It was a sure sign of the times for John Baty that he's so little known in serious fell circles these days that he was announced at the prize giving as John Batty ( as if somehow related to Nora Batty from Last of the Summer Wine ) . However unlike the long gone Last of the Summer Wine (after 25 series and lots of letters from Dave Johnson imploring the BBC to let him play the role of Foggy Dewhirst) , Baty had finally staged a comeback. Let's hope he can now make a few more series of the Poly fell championship and a bit more of an impact before he's really too old - and only good enough to chase elderly argumentative ladies in laddered tights and scarves around Hebden Bridge.
Thanks go to Saltwell for the race , prizes etc and a good entertaining midsummer evening well spent.
This is our roll of honour :
9. John Baty 46 m 20 s
15. Chris Rowe 48 m 15 s
49. Chris Waite 53 m 04 s
60. Barry Young 56 m 01 s
63. Katherine Davis 56 m 44 s
84. David Johnson 62 m 42 s
94. Chris Oliphant 64 m 26 s
102. Ian Richardson 67 m 09 s
The blog will be updated once we can recover from the hangover and recall who won which prize in the vets championship. Sorry no photos apparently available.
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